Thursday, October 30, 2008

Jimmy Olsen's Lame Lupine Love Life!


Ah, those wacky Silver Age JIMMY OLSEN tales. here, as reprinted in the fabulous and life-altering 1967 GIANT JIMMY OLSEN # 104, we see the sordid story of

"The Wolf-man of Metropolis."
The fun starts as Jimmy, already a hound,
tries to get more sweet lovin' from that tease Lucy lane(sister of Super-tease Lois Lane). Just read the two panels.

 
OK, Jimmy soon finds an ancient
wolfman potion (don't ask), anddowns it, and, yes, becomes a hairy werewolf by night (nice sounding title). The story now concerns itself
with "Mr. Action" (just ask Lucy) trying to guard his lupine secret in a series of nutty occurances. Here, He scrapes by at a costume ball, and even wins an award!


Dig how Lucy won't
even kiss Olsen now that he desperately needs her bussing to break the hirsute spell! Jimmy even considers
making out with a random "ugly hag!" Holy pre-PC!


Poor Olsen is reduced to begging for love from random strangers walking in the park at night, only to get his chops bashed in.

Even Superman, who is constantly spying on friends and foes with his X-ray vision and such, doesn't recognize his old pal.



Jimmy even finds his previously pristine eating habits are taking a sharp dive, as he is now WOLFing down his food! Get it?

But,
Superman, as always, uses his superior brain to come to the rescue. He flies in his then-secreted cousin, Supergirl, to pimp her out and have her make it with Jimmy in the dark, as he has to keep his super cousin an under-wraps mystery in those days. Jealous, Kal?

Jimmy, ever the horndog, goes right for it! Does Lucy know about this?! Is this Supergirl's first kiss? Shouldn't that have been HER decision? How does Jimmy know his super-powered pal isn't having a bit of fun by making him kiss Perry White or Batman in the dark?!

And Jimmy? He's retuned to normal (as "normal" he can be for a guy who regularly turns into a giant turtle, an elastic man, shrinks, grows, blows up, etc.), but, this time, Lucy is upset he's not his usual amorous self, preferring only her cheek to
munch on.


That's right. Jimmy is now yearning forever for the mystery gal who so thrilled him during their dimly lit encounter.

Superman. Playa-facilitator!




1 comment:

POP CULTURE DEBRIS said...

If DC had a sense of humor (Ambush Bug doesn't count - he's grandfathered in under the "Julie Schwartz" clause), they would accept my pitch for a Jimmy "Mr. Action" Olsen mini-series in which Jimmy remains a bow-tie wearing doofus that drives the present-day Superman to distraction and madness. Instead, I think they're going to just kill Jim-Jim off in whatever Crisis series is currently stinking up the shelves.